When we disagree with someone, it is usually because we feel strongly about the best actions for a particular situation. We are often quick to assume the other person’s reasoning is flawed or even misidentify their actions with bad intentions. For example, based on Dr. Miles’ comments in the first interaction, she assumes the nurse intentionally bypassed her authority. In actuality the nurse did not have complete information and thought she was providing the standard of care.
In most conflicts, both parties have a good reason for arguing their position. Often these reasons are not apparent to the other party. How you set the tone for these discussions, will often determine the outcome. This is why it is critical to attribute positive intent, that is, to assume the other person is well meaning.
Ask yourself “Why does this decent, rational, well-intentioned person want something different in this situation than what I want?”
In the end, you may still disagree with their opinion, but you will build a foundation of mutual understanding and respect for the rest of the conversation.
© 2016 University of Washington | School of Nursing | L&IT Learning Technologies | Palliative Care Training Center | National Institute of Nursing Research (NINR) at the National Institutes of Health (NIH), 1R21NR010896-02A2.
